When the Week Falls Apart: Staying Rooted in Your Health Goals (Because Motivation Isn’t Enough)

This blog post is a little different. I thought I would share a piece that I wrote out of the blue while Bible studying. When I first started my journey counseling women to build healthier eating habits and lifestyles, it started rocky, like most of us who try developing a new skill. The words didn't come out right, I didn't know what to say, or most importantly, I didn't understand their point of view. And it wasn't until I started living more and being intentional about learning more from people from all walks of life that I discovered what makes a lot of people's brains tick. I don't really know how to start off this post, so I'll just get right to it. Hope this blesses you! :-)

When it comes to building habits or a new skill, many of us like to do the following: wait to feel like it, or when the time is right, or when you feel motivated, or feel inspired, or insert your declaration here:

-to move more, cook more, or make a better lifestyle choice. This strategy isn't going to solve your "back to the drawing board" problem. It's a mindset and an environmental problem that must be challenged. Let me try to explain...

Tell me if this sounds familiar? You began to build a new habit, and you get excited because it's going well. It goes well for a week, maybe two, only to fall off the wagon. I think of this scenario in the same way as how Christians can receive a message from God. In fact, it reminds me of the parable (or story) about the farmer who planted seeds in his fields. (Matthew 13:3-8 & 18-23 New Living Translation (NLT). To summarize, the farmer scattered seeds across his fields. Some fell on a walking path, others fell on rocky, shallow ground, some fell on thorns, and others fell on good ground. I want to pay closer attention to the seeds that fell along the rocky, shallow ground and thorns. Both seeds grew, but with problems. We can receive a seed (a Word, message, etc) and the message is received with joy and expectation. But the message was not deeply rooted. (not meditated on or practiced enough) ( a rocky environment) And then as soon as problems (inconveniences, life lifing) come or we are persecuted (nosy folks with unwanted comments??), we fall off the wagon.

Other messages (seeds) can grow to plants, but get choked by the thorns (the message gets crowded by the worries and demands of life or false information from social media) and die.

We've prepped for the upcoming week and feel ready! BUT as soon as something inconveniences us, doubt creeps up, and the new habit is the first thing to go. Or the Word we received gets choked by false information, microaggression comments from jealousy from others that see you changing, and your Word dies along with our effort to continue to try the new habit.

The "rocky ground and thorns" can be a product of your environment that's choking your ability to build your skill or habit: does your day start stressful by the time you get out of bed? What about when you drive to work, or the people you work with? SOME environments are unavoidable, but HOW you manage your environment can help you set yourself up for greater success.

When it comes to your environment, the best option is honestly planning and having healthy boundaries. Set yourself up for success, not convenience, and not to appease. You're worthy of time to yourself to focus on YOU! Real change is NEVER convenient or comfortable. Think back to when you got your first job, learned to drive, or you became a parent. For many, it's rewarding, sprinkled in with a lot of inconveniences and hiccups along the way. Those inconveniences are part of the journey and an opportunity to learn from past attempts, not stay where you are because one specific attempt did not work out. It may mean you need to slightly tweak your strategy. You'd be surprised how a small change can make a lasting impact on your day!

It's also going to get a little uncomfortable for a little while. But like any new job or skill, it takes time to nurture and cultivate when it comes to catering to your environment. It may result it pruning, habits, things, or even people that are not serving you or supporting you to meet the results you want to reach. Even Jesus proclaimed that the Father is the gardener and He cuts off every branch that does not produce fruit (John 15:1-2). Now remember, it's important to do this with kindness and grace for yourself or for others. It also does not mean completely taking out a certain food or food group to see results. Clarity is kindness, yet it doesn't mean going to extremes. Remember the nurturing piece.

One way to improve your environment in a short amount of time is to prep simple, nutrient-dense meals. Simple meals like one-pan meals can take less than 30 min to make, and you can store leftovers for multiple days for lunch and dinner. Mix up the proteins, fats, and carbs for balanced meals! After you click on the picture below, add your name and email, and you will gain access to some declicious one pan recipies like the one here!

Fitting in two to five-minute exercises during your workday really adds up! Especially for busy women who have a lot of hats to wear throughout the day. Click the pic below for a short YouTube video on how to add simple exercises throughout your day!

Now I want to share a final point I learned during my Bible reading:

God has not given us the spirit, but of power, love, and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1: 7 KJV.)

Power and love are highly important, and I'll go more into that if anyone wants to learn more about what I've learned, but I want to give attention to a "sound mind." Many updated versions call this self-discipline. Self-discipline is more than just an action; it's also mental work--to discipline yourself to make changes in your thought process is as equally important as the action. The thoughts about ourselves or how we mindlessly go through life often lead to less than healthy habits. Many of the habits we work to change involve changing our mindset.

So many of us have moments when, after the week didn't go the way we expected it to, we feel like we've failed. And then, the self-depricating thoughts come creeping in:

"This will never work."

"This is too hard."

"Nothing works."

So, we decided to go back to our old ways. We stay in our "comfort zone."-- not really comfortable at all. We go back to feeling safe--not really feeling safe at all. But we're safe from change, safe in our old routine. But we still feel uncomfortable in our bodies, feeling shame that we gave up or even bothered to try. While our emotions can be valid and should be expressed, it's important to remember that sometimes, it also tells us lies about ourselves. -- the lies that we're not good enough, or that a healthier life is not for me. Or this new routine cannot be my new normal.

These thoughts are often the enemy or lack of confidence in ourselves. These deprecating thoughts are likely to keep you feeling stuck and ashamed. I often say to my clients that sometimes, our feelings keep us too safe and not want to try again in order for us to spare ourselves of not getting disappointed again. And for a lot of us, we have had enough disappointments. We just want one win. I hear you.. And it's in those moments, I've found the most helpful to

I want to point out that when it comes to taking action to change your mindset, it's like strengthening a bicep muscle or any muscle. It takes time and repetition to get stronger. And when we go through the day mindlessly, the muscle isn't getting used.

One crucial tip that has helped me to change my mindset to focus on my health is reframing my thoughts from, "I have to fit in time to prep or exercise in my work day," to "My work day has to fit into my nutrition and movement goals. It comes FIRST! I already know I have to go to work on the daily. For many of us, our work routine is a mindless effort because we've done it for so long, it's a habit we don't break. If we don't work, we don't eat, right? Well, the same is true about food and lifestyle. If I don't eat or move, I'll die! Sooner than the Lord has planned for me to come Home!

The final tip is to remember that changes do not need to be grand, extravagant, or upend your life. They need to be small and subtle. Even weight loss is small and subtle. It's still a change from what once was.

When it comes to the mind, that small and subtle change can be adding a sticky note or a reminder on your phone to yourself that, "You are enough." "This takes time."

You may not see the changes to your body right away, but it's important to remember that your body is being introduced to nutrients and routines it may have never had before. That takes time for your body to make the necessary changes and learn this NEW part of YOU! So as your body does its wonders and works to make these changes, you also need to make the change in your mind that good things are happening, even when you don't see them. Trust in you and God that what you're doing is for your good.

Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality-- faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses]. Hebrews 11:1 (AMP)